I Thought this was a Disney Movie
by chastityreso
Summary: Kendall and Carlos are watching the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Awkwardness inevitably ensues. And that leads to a few other things. Crack. Kendall/Carlos.


_**I Thought This Was A Disney Movie.** Kendall/Carlos. comedy/crack. language. I don't own Big Time Rush._

_You know what? I actually don't know what to say about this story. It's as random as they come._

_Though I'll say the idea came when my cousin and I were watching On Stranger Tides. Pirates ftw!_

_All mistakes are my own, I don't have a beta reader._

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><p>Carlos' eyes widened as he watched the scene in the movie play on. He looked over at Kendall, mouth slightly agape. "I thought we were watching a Disney movie?" He asked. Kendall nodded.<p>

"We are watching a Disney movie." He answered. Carlos looked back at the TV.

"This is kind of awkward…" He fidgeted in his seat for a little, until the awkwardness faded. But only a few scenes later was it back. His eyes widened again and he quickly covered them. "The-the mermaids aren't wearing clothes!"

"They're not supposed to be wearing anything, Carlos."

"Yeah but this is a Disney movie!"

"It's not like you can see anything…"

"So? Tell me when I can look okay?" Kendall mumbled 'okay', looking away from Carlos and back to the TV. He thought for a moment and smirked mischievously.

"You can look now." He said. Carlos moved his hands and opened his eyes; only to throw his hands back over them.

"Kendall!" Carlos shouted.

"What? You act like you have never seen a woman nude before."

"My virgin eyes!" The Latino cried causing Kendall to raise an eyebrow.

"Now you know that's a lie." Kendall said, looking at Carlos. The latter shook his head. "Yes it is. You've seen me naked, duh."

"Yeah well that's you. Of course I've seen you naked. But not a woman…" He still had his eyes covered; also doing the same to his checks so Kendall couldn't see him blush in embarrassment.

"You've never seen a woman nude before, seriously?" The blonde asked again. Carlos shook his head once more, not moving his hands. Kendall raised both his eyebrows in thought. "Not even your mom?" Carlos gasped.

"No I have not seen my mother naked! Ew!" Carlos reeled back against the arm of the sofa looking appalled. "Why would you ask that? Have you seen your mom naked?" Kendall's made a face.

"No I haven't seen my mom naked either." He defended, regretting asking that. "James has though." Carlos gasped and his eyes widened in horror, with his hands together as he leaned farther against the arm of the sofa and away from Kendall.

"James has seen your mom naked?" Kendall nearly choked, coughing a bit.

"Oh, dear God, no! I meant he's seen his mom!" Carlos relaxed.

"Oh okay, I was about to say-wait! That isn't any better!" The Latino said. Kendall just shrugged.

"Either way, you don't have virgin eyes. And even so, I'm sure you've seen guys naked before too." Kendall muttered, looking back at the TV. Carlos looked at him, slowly shaking his head no. "No? Really?"

"You're the first guy I've seen naked…" Carlos explained, blinking innocently.

"Am I really? You've never even seen guys like, in the locker rooms at school?" Carlos shook his head again. "That's just…weird- I've seen plenty of guys nude before-"

"You have?" Carlos' eyes widened again. Kendall's face flustered slightly.

"Y-yeah well you know locker rooms. I've played hockey. You know and there were other times." He was mumbling, not knowing what to say out of embarrassment.

"Other times? What other times? Recently? Before we became a couple?" Carlos gasped. "Do you watch gay porn?" Kendall choked again, reeling forward with his eyes widening dramatically.

"Holy shit, Carlos, no! I don't watch gay porn!" He turned away slightly, muttering under his breath, "Anymore." The Latinos mouth dropped.

"I heard that! You said anymore! So you admit you've watched gay porn!" Carlos said. Kendall threw one of the pillows at him.

"Can you please not shout that to the whole world?" He asked, frustrated. Carlos made a face.

"Sorry." He squeaked. Kendall sighed.

"Okay, yes I have. But I don't anymore. I get off enough just thinking about you now." The Latino's face changed about five different shades of red as he stared at Kendall. The blonde turned to look at him. "What?"

"N-nothing." After that, a slightly awkward, yet comforting silence followed for a while as they both turned back to watch the rest of the movie. That is, until Carlos spoke again. "So…I think you would look really hot dressed as a pirate." Kendall blinked, that entire line coming out from somewhere in left field. He thought for a moment though.

"I'll be right back." And with that said, Kendall was off, jogging out of the room. Carlos' eyes followed him, wondering where he was going. When the blonde was out of sight, he just shrugged and went back to watching the movie. About twenty minutes later, Carlos heard Kendall return, but just in time to see the credits start rolling.

"Oh Kendall, where did you go, you missed the ending of the movie, it was really go-" Carlos turned around to look at Kendall as he finished the sentence, but before he could, his jaw dropped. Kendall stood before him, dressed in a light red, baggy, long sleeve, old century dress shirt. A pair of black pants with a dark red sash tied around his waist, tucked in to a pair of dark brown boots with gold buckles on them. Covering the top of his hair was a dark red bandana and to top the entire look off, there was a sword strapped to his side. "Y-you're a-a…" The blonde smirked.

"A pirate?" He asked, ever so smugly. His smirk grew when he noticed Carlos couldn't stop staring at the top four buttons of his shirt that were undone. He walked closer to the Latino, who for the life of him; couldn't take his eyes off of Kendall. "This is what you wanted-" He traced his fingers along Carlos' jaw. "-right?" Carlos gulped, nodding slowly. He smirked again, unsheathing his sword and carefully pointing it towards Carlos. "Then as Kendall Knight, captain of 2J, I demand ye make haste to me bedroom. Now."

Carlos didn't have to be told twice as he snapped his jaw shut, hopped over the sofa, and dashed to Kendall's bedroom. Kendall followed, smirking again, the sword still in hand. _Oh yes, he was going to have a lot of fun with this._

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><p><em>You guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? ;)<em>

_If so, review and let me know if you would all like a very...sexy sequel~_


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